Bimbo Apocalypse?

Bimbo Apocalypse?

A few weeks ago, Trump dismissed notorious bimbo Kristi Noem from her job as Secretary for Advancing Kristi Noem—I don’t remember the actual title.  For those accustomed to seeing Kristi’s sultry good looks on TV a lot, this was a sad day.

Then, it was cute, perky blonde Pam Bondi’s turn. Realistic observers are asking—is this the Wacko Administration’s bimbo apocalypse?  

Recent news reports indicate that Trump is also considering firing Karoline Leavitt, and Tulsi Gabbard. And he’s apparently given up on appointing Alina Habba and Lindsey Halligan to high profile US Attorney jobs. 

The slang word “bimbo” refers to someone, normally female, who is unusually attractive and unusually clueless in her employment. Trump has some history here.

Let’s consider the once impressive lineup.

Noem has a pretty face and is very nicely turned out. Well-dressed too. Indeed, the ex-Secretary’s good taste in clothes makes one wonder about her much-rumored relationship with Corey Lewandowski, to whom the word “tasteful” has never been applied. Ditto for “intelligent.” Still, the partnership worked. I mean, there she was—often—on your TV.

Some say Noem’s looks are courtesy to plastic surgery. If so, it’s good work. In the spirit of intra-administration sharing, she should give her surgeon’s number to Pete Hegseth, whose face looks like it was sculpted by a head-on collision.

Objectively, Pam Bondi is quite pretty, but every time I see her photo I can’t help but think of my neighbor’s pit bull. She has the bubbly blonde look, but the acid-tongued demeanor doesn’t quite fit. 

One has to acknowledge that Bondi has been a pathbreaker. While her predecessors typically brought to the Attorney General position the credentials of America’s top universities and a recognized background in legal scholarship, Ms. Bondi advances the rough and tumble history of a career politician and the academic chops of Florida’s Stetson University. A precedent, for sure.

Alina Habba, not a mere bimbo but genuinely hot, was on TV a lot during the years she was helping Trump secure a remarkable string of court losses. Despite her desperate attempts to hang on, Trump eventually gave up on his effort to appoint her as US Attorney for New Jersey. She didn’t yield the authority easily. Sadly, for months after leaving office she could be spotted at a desk in the federal building’s lobby, smiling behind a sign offering to indict Democrats for a nominal fee.

Trump evidently spotted Halligan while she was doing mundane chores in a not famous law firm. He was taken, it seems, by her intellectual prowess. She does indeed have prominent, uh, “intellects,” having worked as a model and possessing an appearance very much in the Ivanka/Melania mold. As we’ve seen over and over again, Trump likes the looks. And Trump certainly has a penchant for prominent intellects.

Trump tried to make Halligan the US Attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia. An important jurisdiction which often handles high profile national security cases. However, in the general chaos of a previously failed appointment and in a rush to push indictments of enemies before looming deadlines, Trump failed to make a legal appointment, the consequence of which was the rejection of the indictments of James Comey and Letitia James by district judges. In the course of the investigations, allegations surfaced that Halligan had won an indictment by telling a grand jury that she had lots of other evidence that would be presented later. In the legal world, this is a major no-no, for reasons that are obvious when you think about it. To be fair, though, it’s unreasonable to expect Halligan to know this, since she has no experience as a prosecutor.

Leavitt is younger and certainly pretty, although it’s likely even Reubens would have found her exaggerated hip shape a bit much. Still, while a fail for New York modelling agencies, these lines definitely work for the electorally-coveted WWE/Joe Rogan demographic.

Leavitt would appear Wacko-administration clueless if not for her inspired creation of the AI-based Political Quip-Generator.

Concerned that a major predecessor had been best known as a serial liar, Leavitt chose offense—instead of actual answers, she would respond with propaganda-style quips. As a young person, she naturally turned to AI for help and only had to feed the collected speeches of Benito Mussolini into Claude to get what she wanted. Every one of her always concise answers now heaps glory on the administration, actively denigrates the Democrats and, when needed, ignores the actual question. Thanks Claude, mission accomplished.

Over at the Pentagon, Blowdry Pete began using the same system, except instructing it to add lots of Christian quotes—albeit none from the New Testament. All went well until one day, gazing at the reflective screen, Blowdry impulsively asked Claude, “Who has the best hair in Wackoland?” When the software loyally responded “Karoline does,” he immediately ordered the entire Department for Crusades to choose new AI software. Take that, Claude.

So is this the Bimbo Apocalypse? It seems so. Trump, fearing the midterms, is going with the suits. Will it work? Don’t think so. Joe Rogan has already defected and I don’t see the WWE demographic choosing Todd Blanche over Alina Habba. I expect the heat of weak October polls to bring a reversal to form, headlined by Lindsey Halligan as Attorney General. So, she isn’t distinguished as a lawyer. So what? She has Trumpian intellects.

Tik Tok Trump. Watch Facebook and America’s Software Industry Crash

Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg shoots himself in the foot so often you wonder he can walk. But this time is extreme – he’s apparently helped convince Trump that Tik Tok and other Chinese-owned apps are dangerous and need to be banned.

Trump, never an analytical thinker and open to anything that he sees helping with re-election, has responded with bans on a number of Chinese-owned apps.

The official Trumpian reasoning is that, because the apps are controlled by a dangerous foreign nation, they could be used for nefarious purposes.

Hmmm. Remembering that what’s “foreign” depends on where you live, and that a lot of countries see the US, especially under Trump, as recklessly dangerous, where else might this principle apply?

Don’t Forget the Prosecutors

The murder of George Floyd has triggered an enormously positive rethinking about the problem of racial discrimination in American society.

My Address is #15, Benedict Arnold Boulevard

It’s just off the intersection with Axis Sally Avenue.

Sound strange? It shouldn’t if you believe the Honoring Dead Confederates Movement, which argues that memorials and monuments to Southern traitors are merely “history.”

Master Dabo’s Clemson Plantation

Clemson University’s football program just had its first player decommitment in many years. No, now make that two. Both, interestingly, are Black.

Is this an aberration, or a trend?

It sure looks like a trend.

GOP's Poster Wackos in Georgia and Florida Threaten College Football Season

The NCAA has announced there won’t be college football in the fall unless Coronavirus cases in the US are declining.

It’s the GOP That Wants to Kill Grandma

Some eleven years ago, Republicans launched a ferocious attack on Obamacare. One element of the battle was the claim that the new insurance plan would encourage people to “kill Grandma.”  

The 16:8 Diet Works for Me

In fact, 16:8 appears to have been extremely effective for me, though I need more experience to know for sure.

The 16:18 diet, really a regimen rather than a diet, stipulates that one fasts for 16 hours straight and then can eat only within the remaining 8-hour window.

Trade, Electronics, and the Imminent Demise of Apple, et al

America’s trade wars are creating a major disruption in the electronics market. Even if Trump backs down while declaring victory – a habit of his – most of the damage is done.

American electronics manufacturers generally expressed support when Trump started attacking China. There was strong agreement that China cheated on various aspects of trade, especially theft of intellectual property (IP) and the kind of market manipulation that uses artificially low prices to create a dominant share. And there was pretty much a consensus that Huawei was the most flagrant violator of all.

Bad Fiscal Habits- Coin Version

Bad habits have bad outcomes, especially where money is involved. In my case, the punishment was a result of a long-time habit of hoarding coins – well, actually just dumping them when I get home and then leaving them in a jar. Or two or three or…

The day came when enough was enough. The jars seemed to be breeding in dark corners. Some looked like they were going to be impossible to lift. What to do?

Killing Justice

Supreme Court judge Antonin Scalia's sudden and unexpected death raises the inevitable concerns about conspiracy.

The role of the Court is more important than ever in America, and its close ideological division means that the death of one member can have a profound, long-term impact on the nation.

Garrison Walters' political thriller, Killing Justice, explores a situation eerily similar to the one the US now faces. The sudden and surprising death of a Republican justice while a Democrat is President raises an array of challenging issues -- especially when many believe the judge was murdered.

Installing Amazon Echo Auto

This went reasonably well in my 2014 BMW X3.

Connecting was fairly straightforward. In the spirit of “Keep It Stupidly Simple,” the documentation doesn’t describe how the connections work.

By Gove! We’ve Had Enough of You!

Britain’s Michael Gove has thrown his dunce hat into the ring for Prime Minister.

Gove, despite many years in government, is famous for only one thing: a public statement that 

“We’ve had enough of experts!”

Facebook, Privacy, and AI

The current crisis with Facebook isn’t rooted in its management or even in its original design. Rather, the sources of its problems go back to its IPO, which occurred in 2012 when the company was valued at $104 billion. Specifically, Facebook’s stock was priced by Wall Street on the assumption that it was 1) the antithesis of privacy; and 2) able to grow revenues more or less forever at a rate substantially faster than expenses. A corollary of this second point was that the company would remain largely free of the inherently unpredictable costs of human employment (Wall Street hates people costs and rewards companies that keep them as low as possible).

The First Europeans

White Nationalists, together with related varieties of Modern Wacko usually self-styled as Aryans, put much faith in the racial integrity of the great white homeland, Europe.

Today’s Europeans are, in fact, the product of a series of invasions over many thousands of years. First there were the Western Hunter-Gatherers (WHG) who came from somewhere in Asia, likely way out on the borderlands with China. Next were the Early European Farmers (EEF), who arrived from what is now the Middle East. The names of these groups describe their respective lifestyles.

The last invaders were the Indo Europeans, from the steppe lands on the border of Europe and Asia. These people were herders, who had domesticated the horse, probably invented the wheel, and whose language became the basis for nearly all of the tongues of modern Europe.

Ode to Brexit

The UK’s Poet Laureate is appointed with "an expectation that the holder will write verse for significant national occasions."

If Brexit isn’t a “significant national occasion,” I don’t know what is, so let’s order up an ode. Hey, Carol Ann Duffy – you can’t hide any longer -- step up and versify.

Jobs for Paul Ryan in 2019

• Writing a monthly column on the Austrian School of Economics for Guns and Ammo magazine.
• Chief ethics officer for Wells Fargo bank.
• Head of emissions testing for Volkswagen.
• Senior advisor on the theology of Ayn Rand to the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.